Stagnant – (Definition from the dictionary)
1. Stale or foul from standing, as in a pool of water. (Nope, not that one)
2. Not flowing or running, as in water, air, etc. (Not that one either)
3. Characterized by lack of development, advancement, or progressive movement (Ahh, yes. That’s more like it)
4. Inactive, sluggish, or dull (well, that pretty much covers it)
Synonyms –
5. Dormant. Lifeless. Dead. Inert. Lazy. (LAZY? BINGO!)
The last two years have been a whirlwind for me. Going from full-time mother to full-time mother/student was hard, but so fulfilling. Minus the 18 months I spent in Dallas, it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done.
But I LOVED it. Absolutely LOVED it. Thrived on it, maybe.
Learning new things, meeting new people, expanding my knowledge and stretching myself was amazing. I realized that it was easier being a student at 27 than it was at 19. I realized so much about myself and the capacities that we have as human beings. I realized that there were so many people who believed in me - who helped me believe in myself. I realized that I had the power to inspire others.
And now its over.
I feel like I just jumped off a cliff.A really tall cliff.
My legs are really wobbly, but I'm figuring out how to walk again.
I did the dishes twice this week already. I don't remember the last time I did the dishes twice in ONE week - let alone the first three days of the week. It's strange, but it's starting to feel more comfortable.
When that lady handed me my diploma cover (yeah, for those of you who are unaware - there is no diploma in there. It's just a show) I paused for a picture. Then I turned and the dean said
"Do you have a job to go with that?"It was pretty funny to see the look of astonishment on his face.That's when I said (with a huge smile),"NO WAY".
I wonder if anyone has ever replied that way.
So now that I've jumped off that cliff, I'm feeling a little lifeless, lazy, sluggish. I've read two books since graduation (the second in three days) . A little lazy, but it feels great. Hopefully as my legs get stronger I will be able to seek out ways to fulfill myself outside the home. I'm looking for a talent or hobby...any suggestions? At this point I'm willing to try about anything.
6 comments:
Um...27?
I hear you, Alicia. I felt that way after I stopped teaching to have Emma. I basically sat around, took naps, read books, and ate for 2 months before she was born. I felt like a lazy bum. But it was kind of fun! Ahh to have some of that time back... I'm guessing you'll get used to it and maybe even start to feel busy again with kids, husband, housework, hobbies, friends, etc. Fun post!
It's so funny that you did this blog. That's how I'm feeling today. I'm just so tired of being a mom and doing all that mommy stuff, and then the wife thing. I don't want to pick up today. I just want to go back to bed and hide. I've gotten into this routine, and it's horrible. Anyways, I know it's a little bit different from what you're saying, but almost. Hope to see you later this afternoon.
So proud of you! You are inspiring to people ... we're going to miss you. How awesome to have a degree! You'll find something to fill your time ... no problem!
My hobbies might be boring to you, but I love to find new recipes, cross stitch, scrapbook, read (which you are already into), and I also like learning to sew and do crafty things. I know you'll find great things to fill the void from school. You are so brillant and crafty. Congrats on the degree!
Congratulations Alecia! I love your blog and that's definitely one way to make good use of time; it journals your day and is a great way to communicate with the outside world without leaving your home. I also found that (this might sound crazy) cooking is a great way to satisfy myself and the family. I make a monthly menu after carefully sifting through my cookbooks and making a store list that fits the budget. I'm glad you're reading--that's great. In no time you will comfortably settle into your new transition.
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